


Vision of Life

by EHyde



Category: Akatsuki no Yona | Yona of the Dawn
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-10
Updated: 2015-09-10
Packaged: 2018-04-20 02:53:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4770782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EHyde/pseuds/EHyde
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The dragon god gave Abi a power that alienated him from those around him and was good for only one thing ... or so he thought.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Vision of Life

Abi awoke to the too-familiar moans and screams of the field surgeon’s tent. He was fine, himself—had just let his powers backfire again, pushing too hard—and if Zeno had been with him on the battlefield, he’d have simply carried Abi back to his tent. But the soldiers under Abi’s command were too cautious, and when left to their care, he always ended up here. Not a good place to calm one’s nerves. Abi forced himself to stand up. He was still slightly dizzy, but he wouldn’t stay here any longer than necessary. Today’s battle had been rough—one of the tribes to the south had secretly allied with a neighboring clan, and though Abi’s vision had prevented their ambush from succeeding, it still meant that the king’s army faced a far larger force than anticipated. Through the walls of the tent, Abi could see Hakuryuu and Ryokuryuu still fighting by the king’s side, but he knew if he returned to join them, he’d fall again to his own power almost immediately. Instead, he would … he scanned the camp. He’d go to the king’s strategists and tacticians, where he could keep them apprised of the status of the battle better than any scouts. It wasn’t what the people wanted from one of Hiryuu’s dragon warriors, but— _(but nothing about him was what the people wanted from one of Hiryuu’s dragon warriors; his powers frightened his own men as much as they did the enemy)_ —but it was more than he could do here.

He took a few deep breaths, to keep the sounds of pain and death from overwhelming him—which was something that shouldn’t be possible in the first place. Abi had committed far worse violence than these men’s injuries, and when he remembered how it felt to reach out with the dragon’s eyes, to tear Hiryuu’s enemies apart, to stop their hearts—Abi had no right to be squeamish. He had tried talking to Hakuryuu about it—Guen might not be educated about many things, but he’d been a soldier for years, and fighting, at least, was something he knew. “It’s different, up close,” Guen had said. “Compared to killing from a distance.” But that wasn’t it at all. To Guen, to everyone else— _I look at them, and they stop moving_. To them, it must seem very clean. How could Abi possibly explain just how close, just how personal, Seiryuu’s powers really were?

Where was the doctor? Abi should tell him he was leaving, shouldn’t give him more things to worry about when— “Hold him down!” No, Abi should just leave, shouldn’t distract him, shouldn’t get in the way. He found himself turning toward the voice anyway, though, and then wishing he hadn’t. “Dammit,  _hold_  him.”

Abi knew the patient. Well, no, he didn’t. He’d seen him, though—it was one of Hakuryuu’s men, close to Guen, close to him before he’d drunk the dragon’s blood, Abi thought. And the doctor was going to cut off his arm. Abi turned away again, the only way to avoid seeing the man’s crushed and shattered bones—had he been trampled?—but turned back at the continued shouting. The man was bigger even than Guen, and the doctor’s assistants clearly wouldn’t be able to keep him still. Shouldn’t they have drugs for this? “Idiot, you’ll die,” Abi heard himself say.

Eyes turned on him. “Lord Seiryuu, he’s not in his right mind,” the doctor said. “He can’t help himself.” Abi knew that. And he shouldn’t have said anything, and he couldn’t leave now, not while everyone was looking at him instead of at the patient who really  _would_  die if he wouldn’t just  _stop moving_.

And—he stopped moving. And Abi staggered at the wave of dizziness that came from using his power again so soon after recovering. “I—” Eyes were still on him. He turned and ran from the tent.

Outside, away from that particular brand of pain and suffering, Abi’s thoughts came clearer. He hadn’t meant to do that. He’d panicked. And now … the soldiers found him unnerving when he’d only used his power against the enemy. What would they think of him now?  _It doesn’t matter. I’m here to protect my king, not to make friends …_  but he envied that camaraderie Guen had with his men, envied Zeno’s cheerful attitude that brought a smile to everyone around him. Even Shuten, annoying as he was, had his drinking buddies.  _Well, that’s not me._

  


Early the next morning, as dawn approached the horizon, the doctor came to Abi’s tent. “Come in,” Abi said, finally, after watching the man stand there awkwardly for several minutes. Abi had hardly slept.

He lifted the tent flap and entered. “How did you—?” He broke off. “Right. Of course. Lord Seiryuu …”

“Don’t worry,” said Abi. “It won’t happen again. Unless I’m injured myself, you won’t see me in your tent.” He’d just have to speak more firmly with his men, and make sure of it. It would be better for everyone.

The doctor blinked. “Lord Seiryuu, you saved that man’s life,” he said bluntly.

“I—no, that’s—”

“Lord Hakuryuu didn’t tell you?” Abi had deliberately avoided the other dragons all night. “He wanted to thank you.”

“I …” It made sense. Logically, it worked out. The doctor couldn’t operate while his patient was thrashing around like that, and paralyzing him … “I didn’t do him any favors,” Abi said. “He still felt everything.” Paralyzed, completely helpless, about to be devoured by a hungry blue dragon … that’s what he would have felt, and that was before the pain of the amputation. “Seiryuu’s power isn’t a tool like Hakuryuu’s strength. It’s not something that can build things up. The dragon god … found it fit to give me a monstrous power that rips life apart.”

“My patient survived because of you,” the doctor repeated. “I don’t know anything about dragon gods, but I know that.” And as Abi stood there trying to process what that meant, the doctor continued. “Something else, Lord Seiryuu,” he said. “How many broken ribs did that man have?”

“… three?” What did that matter now? But the doctor smiled. He seemed—excited?

“You just looked at him, from across the tent, and you knew that,” he said. “Do you know how incredibly useful—?” He cut himself off. “Lord Seiryuu,” he began again, “Forgive me for being frank, but—I can tell you’re someone who could never have been a doctor. Even the strongest warriors sometimes can’t—there’s nothing wrong with it. But if it’s something you can do, your presence would be very welcome indeed. I believe your power, Lord Seiryuu, is far more capable of building life up than you know.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I'm [fallenwithstyle](http://fallenwithstyle.tumblr.com) on tumblr if you'd like to come say hi.


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